What the FRENCH toast?

You know what bugs me? I mean REALLY bugs me. Comparisons. Who was the Punk Face that said "Hey World! I have an idea, lets get people and more specifically women to compare themselves against each other. Better yet, lets get the media involved so not one woman misses a day without feeling inadequate or UGLY!"

Hey world! Here's my idea, lets find that guy and give him 1 million punches to the face!

Attention Men: now's the time where you tune me out because you can't relate.

Attention Ladies: Ever listen to the conversations you have with your friends? How many times did you say you were going to work out, start a diet, change something about your appearance, remodel/ makeover something in your house etcetera etcetera? Don't you just get annoyed with yourself? Wouldn't it be great to just let yourself be for a day or two? I feel like blogger and typed pad have joined forces to speed up the spread of insecurities, jealousy and my favorite, FRIENAMIES!

I can't help but feel a little sour every time I hear someone say "I don't have any talents" or "I am not as good as so and so". Who the heck IS as good as so and so, show me one person! Yes, I hate to cook and I sleep in like a bear, does that put me in the trophy wife hall of shame? "Hi, I don't scrap book and I never ran a marathon, yes I know, I'm a mutant"

So I say, "Hey world, bite me." I could just sit around and do nothing and refuse to try anything in life but I know there is someone out there who will still be a better blob than me so I won't try because AGAIN with the comparisons.

Introducing New Guy who says "Hey World, Let get the kids involved!" Our poor children don't stand a chance. Not unless they memorize all the "My Baby Can Sign" videos and recite the presidents in order. {Walter, She's 6 months old and can't walk yet. WHAT DO WE DO!?!?!? It's too late Sally, She's a menace to society, we'll have to move and change our names. Noooooooo!} Dear Kingston and London, you better not suck at anything or I will be shamed in the blogging world forever.

My Solution? Lets find Punk Face and New Guy and junk punch em!

My new philosophy: Regardless of what I can and can't do or the abilities of my children I thinks it's my right to be happy the way I am and to be proud of my kids no matter how fat London's head is or how many times Kingston gets kicked out of nursery for being a Ninja. So move along world. Go ahead and do your comparisons and smile at me facetiously as if you're my friend, assuming that you are better than me. I will be over here enjoying life regardless. So HA!

(if you read this and are thinking "wow, she must be really insecure." you would be RIGHT. Yes, I get jealous of other people. Yes, I compare myself to to other girls. Yes, I know people who are my so called "friends". Yes, I am not oblivious to the fact that there are individuals who smile at the thought of making me feel bad. All of which are reasons why I am insecure. {I'm only human} Tired of it much? AbsoFREAKINlutley. Do I feel the need to keep up the facade that I don't care? Not so much :)