In reference to my previous post and the comments and emails I've received I decided to take a spin around that block once again and dig in a peep deeper. While acknowledging that my desire to look better, be better, feel better will never go away {I assume this is because we were created to progress}, I have since devised a plan that doesn't focus so much on vengeance against
Punk Face and
New Guy but more so on the deeds that will actually make me a better person and make me feel better about myself in every way. After all, I can compare and contort myself in an effort to aspire to that unreachable satisfaction for my appearance and consumption but I imagine that will only result in more self rejection and insecurities. The opposite of that is doing things for other people. Simply put, the more you do for others the better you feel about yourself. It's so simple that it's actually difficult {for me anyway}. Shall I continue on my rant? I shall...
My Mom used a spoon as an analogy for me once. If I faced the spoon inward on
myself my reflection was upside down and contorted. However, if I turned it outward {toward others} the reflection was right side up again and a little more clear. Holy slap in the face, DUH! When we focus on ourselves we loose sight on where we are going and it's hard to see much of anything else and then after a while everything seems like it's upside down and you just don't know what to do anymore and pretty soon you find yourself buying giant bags of frootsie rolls on Amazon.com! Sooooo, using the basic laws of opposition I'm thinking it's not a bad idea to spend a little more time and effort on making other people feel happy and beautiful. It's so easy it's hard people!!! Honestly, raise your hand if you've ever spent the day helping a friend {insert act of service here} and then went home and ate a pound of butter because you felt empty afterward? That will never happen! Doing stuff for other people and making them feel better about themselves {NOT WORSE, girls} only makes
YOU a better person. Let's talk about the
ELEPHANT in the room. Girls will initially dislike someone who is beautiful and talented simply because she's intimidating and we feel threatened. I sometimes want to laugh {out loud} when I go to female gatherings because of all the look-e-loo glance-a-roo's I see. You know, when one girl looks another girl up and down, and allllll around and then glances away real fast before the victim notices. I don't know about ya'll but
I NOTICE, and I notice it
e v e r y w h e r e! I'm sure it's partly because the offender is checking out the victims clothes and accessories and coveting the crap out of it all, but we all know she is busting out her mental scale and comparing herself to someone she probably doesn't know very well. I suspect this has happened to me a number of times {sadly, I see it at church the most} and truth be told I think that act is wiggity-wack it needs to hit the road Jack! I mean, at least give me the chance to win you over with a knock knock joke or somethin! But anyways, the point isn't to dwell on how others treat you or what they think about you but to really change the way you think about others and how you treat them.
{I'm not rambling am I? I don't ramble, especially not at 2am. I'm rambling huh?}
Summation:
The road to ultimate beauty, talent, weight loss, accomplishments, acceptance, most original, DIY, shabby chic, retro, leopard print, vintage, bling makeover etc... leads to a dead end, self doubt and selfishness. The happier, friendlier, blissful, light of Christ version of you is not achieved by doing stuff for yourself. And there is absolutely with out question, undoubtedly NO purpose or outcome from comparing yourself to someone else because in the end you will ALWAYS be you, so get used to it because
YOU is a really good thing to be!
My Plan of Action:Do and say anything and everything that is uplifting and helpful to others. More importantly I want to teach my children to be loving and serving.
On the contrary here is a list of things to do if you want to be self loathing and miserable.
- talk about yourself a lot and never listen to what others have to say.
- go out of your way to be fake-friendly to someone and then talk trash about them behind their backs.
- pretend to be a friend to get stuff for yourself.
- always expect others to help you but don't waste your time doing stuff for them.
- only think about the way you look and what you are wearing.
- only talk about the way you look and what you are wearing.
- hold a grudge instead of repairing a friendship.
- 1-up anything anyone says.
- spend more money than you have, especially on things that don't matter.
- intentionally say things that are belittling or judgmental to others.
- intentionally try to make other people jealous.
- always ask yourself "what's in it for me?".
- try to be like everyone but yourself.
- listen to or watch noise all day long.
- ignore your kids for less important things.
- persuade others to think badly of other individuals.
- keep score of what you do for other people and what they didn't do for you.
- always blame other people for you problems.
- act like everyone is out to get you.
- think that you have the worst life ever.
- treat your husband like dirt.
- encourage your friends to gossip.
This list could easily grow wildly out of control because a certain
Bad Guy works hard to make sure it's easier to do the wrong thing at all times. Some of the stuff on this list are things that I have done that made me feel horrible and some of them are things that others have done to me that made me feel horrible. Either way all parties involved wind up feeling horrible. The whole reason I posted anything about this topic in the first place was because ALL of it is a struggle for me. I am so far from being perfect it's depressing but I've finally reached a point where I realized that it is more depressing not to speak up and make some changes. So thank you for your comments and emails of encouragement and for letting me know I'm not the only one who feels this way. After only a few small changes I have already felt so much happier and peaceful and I am actually excited about being me, without feeling guilty or inadequate or anything of the sort and it's pretty much the best feeling ever. So I'm going to bed happy tonight because I know I am going to wake tomorrow and try even harder to be a little better.
{I am so completely sorry for the bad spelling and grammar that lurks within this post. That weakness of mine is certainly magnified in the wee hours of the morning}
