Sometimes

Sometimes when I watch London smiling at nothing I wonder who she is smiling at. Sometimes I wonder if the soothing presence of her company is because the light of Christ is so pure within her. Sometimes I wonder if she will tell me something sacred if I listen quietly enough. Sometimes I wonder if I am her mother so I can teach her or if she is my daughter so I can learn from her. Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to protect her from pain and suffering. Sometimes I hope she will be able to infect others with her sweetness. Sometimes when she looks at me with adoration I think that Father is telling me he loves me directly. Sometimes when she is sleeping in her bed I quietly sneak in just to hold her. And sometimes I let myself believe that I actually deserve her, Sometimes.